Novell (October 2007)
Storm
She opens the door and step out on the stairs. She needs to move now. A lump in her breast that she does not know where from it will make itself felt. Ute is the grass wet, dark green. The clouds up there heavy. They fall to the ground at any second. The road ahead of her, she can hear his own footsteps in the gravel as she walks. She has to move, she can not stay a moment. She leaves the door standing.
Careful, as on a rocking boat, she takes up. At the road the heather grows in large, purple drifts. Scent, diluted in the water, reaching her nose. Her step is the only sound, it is the rattling, scattered sound of pebbles that are turned up, exposing its dark side. She thinks about how she walks, how she must look like if a stranger were to run into her on the road. She tries to walk as normally as possible. The hands are wet with milk, she dries them on the pants. Behind her house disappear behind the hill.
On the other side sees the sheep back on her. She smiles at their long faces and dark eyes. From the corners sticking out grass and dandelions. Some are and resting in the tall grass. She sends greetings and hopes that it will reach there may be closest. From where she stands, it looks like it smiles back. She goes reluctantly, the way a bit back. Now the gravel disappeared and turned into gray, broken asphalt and her feet hurt. Only now, she discovers that she is not wearing any shoes.
trees leaf receives the first raindrops. Soon they fall around her. Her hair gets wet and her jacket is colored dark red. The high winds get hold of the trees and shaking them back and forth, as if they were clothes hung out to dry in Winter acid. A violent crash and a glow in her eyes makes her stop. The sound cut through her mind and the instinct that she still carries with him makes her crouch. The clouds torn up by another flash, a clearly visible one. The lump in her breast is replaced by fear. It is a welcome feeling. Quickly she turns off the road, down a path down to the water. Here stands the trees high and wide, open landscapes, she has left behind. As in a ballroom of the towers all the way up to heaven. She puts her jacket over a tree without too much web and lays down on it. Her head is tired and tugnt. Soon she sleeps with head in the moss.
She wakes with a start. Still falls the last raindrops, which has disrupted her sleep. For a moment she woke up almost happy, she does not remember the reason why she should be sorry. The next moment it strikes her as an open hand across his cheek. Her head sank down to the ground. The tanks weaves skeins of the skull, trying to intimidate her and show the worst. She already knows what will happen. Therefore, she continued. She gets up and picks spruce needles from her hair, shakes his jacket and puts it on himself. It smells a little fishy, but it is not as wet as she thought. She walks up to the water's edge. Lake is still and clear. On the other hand, she glimpsed a small house. Her fingers were sticking to each other, she looks down on them. They are covered with blood. Her pants also. Quickly dip her hands into the water, rubbing them against each other and see the red dissolving of the clear, transparent. She washes her face and she knows how to awaken to its cooling.
She remembers that she held in her mother's arm as she sat on the floor. She looked out the window and did not hear what was going on in the background. Her ears weed out the sounds that she would not hear until they fell silent. Oh my god, was the only thing she remembered her saying. As a heavy lid is something over and will not let up. She remembers her father's face, though it was black and dark as at night. Out on the lawn a sparrow hopped around in search of food. Now and then flew away and searched for their luck elsewhere.
Although it makes no difference, she asks a short prayer to God. For a moment think she could hear a voice answer, she turns around. But the road behind her is silent and deserted. She leaves the scent of pine needles and resin behind them, turning once again into the road. She sees the bright sky behind the black clouds, they start to crack and break. Here comes the sun. The shining and warms her cold face. It's still summer, even though the leaves have started to fall to the ground. Silence where she goes is thick, only the faint rustle of wind in the trees and her wet feet on the asphalt can be heard. She thinks that now I'm alone. Just as lonely as the old man's father told me about who had a wife who had died. He had no children, no dog or cat. So will it be now. She could build a shack in the woods and gather mushrooms and berries to eat. Never would anyone have to go there and ask. The thought makes her happy for a while.
Now, there are no trees left. The few trees that she can see is sparse birches. Otherwise, there is only green grass and high hills. The fence that previously followed the road has vanished. She does not know how long she was gone. The way she see something small and white a few feet away. There she stands, it looks like something someone forgot. A plastic bag, a hat, a rain coat. When she gets closer she sees the white wool covering the lamb's body. Its eyes are bright, glossy and transparent. Red blood leak from the deep wound in his throat. She walks over and puts his hand against its short wool. It is soft, but cold. She underlines the curious lamb face and its hooves. Ear and tail. She tears off tall grass and pull up tufts and add the lamb. In her mind she buries it.
She remembers what the clouds formed when she was little. What visions she could see in their fluffy bodies. And then, how the changed form and became the new thing. Now the sun on the horizon, its round shape inflated like a balloon. As a black hole will open up and devour the world in pink and orange. She puts her hands in jacket pockets when rates are falling. She digs his feet into the earth to get them warm, but it is useless. She has lost feeling in his toes, they are just ice blocks. One day has passed since she left the door open and walked away. She would never dare if no sound consulted. If not everything had been quiet after the cries and fights. She misses her mother. When she finally falls asleep she dreams about the smell of clean sheets.
Her mother's presence in her clothes when she wakes up. A button buttoned, a flap unfolded. Her hair ruffle of the wind that sweeps across the land. She forgot to turn off the lights before she left. The air is colder than she had ever known, when she pulls it into their lungs. The head feels heavy on the grass, she remains. The idea, she goes on, fly high, disappearing behind the clouds. No one sees or hears and no one comes by to look for her. She was digging in the ground and not even the sheep can see a difference between her and a tuft of grass. The dog is fast and had wind of her several mil away. Now looking its nose frantically in the grass. The steps behind trying to keep up as best they can, but it is wet and slippery and the slipping constantly.
When she decided, and opened her eyes she sees the dog. He has stopped in the grass a few feet in front of her. She looks into his big, black eyes. She could move, running quickly over the grass and hoped that he would not follow suit. But she remains. Through the grass, she sees his black pants, the big feet. Soon he will see her.
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